In this month’s newsletter article we are talking about how competition creates a wall between us and other people. In Dare to Connect, Susan talked about how our Somebody Training (how we are raised to try to be a Somebody) creates conflict where there doesn’t have to be any. Here is an excerpt from Dare to Connect about it:
Up until now, our Somebody Training has taught us to handle conflict in a way that creates what looks like winners and losers. In truth, in a competitive system there can only be losers because in the process of trying to win, we have:
1) created a wall of separation instead of connection,
2) lost the opportunity to learn from and integrate other points of view into our own thinking,
3) adopted tunnel vision, which shuts out potentially wondrous new alternatives,
4) fed our addiction to proving we are better than someone else,
5) caused ourselves to feel more alone in the world,
6) closed our heart to the feelings of others.
I know some of you out there are still saying, “Come now, there’s nothing wrong with trying to win. Life would be so dull if there wasn’t the challenge of competition.” This is a common Somebody Training myth. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that most of us are addicted to competition. For example, so many of our workaholic tendencies are about being the best, winning, outdoing, proving. The fact that so many people slave away at jobs they don’t like, even when they don’t need the money, suggests an addiction to winning.
When we are able to let go of this addiction to competition, it is possible to jump to the level of the Higher Self and find an Everybody Training solution to conflict that is far more exciting! Here, we can begin to see conflict as opportunity for discovery. What creates conflict are the differing needs, expectations, perceptions and experiences of everyone involved. If we put all these differences in a big pot and “play” with them long enough, we can come up with some very creative resolutions. In this way, we resolve our differences in an atmosphere of CO-CREATION… people working together to come up with fresh ideas. Co-creation is much more powerful than competition. It is a win-win activity in an atmosphere of connectedness, expansion and discovery. The beauty of co-creation is that you don’t have to do it alone: it’s YOU AND ME instead of YOU OR ME. What a relief!