Taking Responsibility Means Asking Yourself Why

When you are feeling bad, when you are upset or worried do you think such thoughts as:

It’s her/his fault that I’m miserable.

It’s his/her fault that I worry all the time.

It’s her/his/their fault that I’m stuck.

As Susan wrote in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, “If you are feeling some pain from identifying with any of those thoughts, good. It simply pinpoints an area on which you have to work. When you blame any outside force for any of your experience of life, you are literally giving away all your power and thus creating pain, paralysis and depression.”

So instead of thinking the fault lies in someone else, think about WHY you are feeling miserable, anxious, or stuck.

If you blame your unhappiness on your partner or a friend, ask yourself these questions: Why do you let them? Was there nothing kind that they did for you?

When you are worried about your kids, or your parents, or your employees, ask yourself: Who asked you to worry? Don’t you believe in them? Don’t they have a right to live their own life?

If you feel stuck in a job or a family situation ask yourself why you feel that way. Why is this true to you? Aren’t there other paths you could try? What does the world owe you?

Finding out why you are playing the blame game will help you begin to take responsibility for your own life experiences.