How to Learn to Love Ourselves

This month, while the world is talking about romantic love, we’re talking about the more important self-love. Yet how many of us would admit love for ourselves? Most of us, in fact, are more likely to do the opposite and admit only to our flaws. We spend more time pulling ourselves down than of building ourselves up. The only purpose our inner Chatterbox has is to constantly criticize. So we must learn how to counteract the Chatterbox by replacing it with a more loving inner voice.

Susan recommended using guided visualizations, affirmations, even posting signs around home, to help quiet the Chatterbox. One other thing she recommended, that could be the most powerful, is to say loving things to ourselves while looking into a mirror.

“We actually need to SEE the message on the mirror so that our minds, which are usually so busy putting us down, will begin pulling us up. Most of the time we look into the mirror, our Chatterbox sends us such messages as, ‘Boy I never noticed that wrinkle before.’ ‘My eyes sure look puffy.’ ‘My skin looks terrible.’ And so on. Every time you see something negative in the mirror, switch to something positive. This will help you learn to love the person looking back at you.”

In Dare to Connect, Susan wrote about an exercise Louise Hay used with her clients. She had them say into a mirror, ‘I love you,’ and was struck by how hard it can be for people to do this. When we look in a mirror we find ourselves facing our cruelest critic. Nobody can hurt us the way we can hurt ourselves.

“It is important to remind ourselves constantly where our need for approval arises…and where it will finally end. We must be able to look into that mirror with confidence and approval and be able to say to ourselves with total conviction, ‘Yes, I really like you. I appreciate the beauty of who you are. I would be proud to be your friend. I find you a strong and beautiful Soul who makes my heart sing.’”

When we can look ourselves in the eyes and say such loving words to ourselves, it won’t matter if someone else likes us or not. We have learned to love ourselves and that is both enough and the beginning of great things.